Dan Sweeper: sMoRTy71 hater
I got a funny little call from my friend Dan Sweeper (I've changed his name to protect his identity) last week. He called to tell me that he (finally) got an XBOX and Halo 2. I was in shock. Dan is notorious for taking forever to make purchasing decisions (I guess 3 years is about right for the XBOX, but Halo 2 was really quick).

After telling me about his wild shopping spree, Dan asked me to guess his XBOX Live Gamertag. I tried "Sweeper," "The Sweeper," "Dan Sweeper" and even "Tirekicker," but I was wrong every time (even though the ol' tirekicker is kicking himself for not thinking of that last one).

Dan let me know that the first part of his Gamertag was "Vanderlay." He has used that as part of his team name in Fantasy Football for the past 5 seasons, so that made sense. He said the last part was a number. I figured it would be "44" for his age (Hey-O!) or maybe his birth year. But no, Dan chose "71." That's right, "Vanderlay 71." Dan was, of course, very proud of himself for this little bit of player hating that he has perpetrated against me. Very clever, Dan. Very clever indeed.

To show my appreciation, I am now posting some of the Photoshop pranks that I pulled on Dan during our 4 years as co-workers. How do you like that one, Vanderlay71? I SAID, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT ONE?

1. Beavis & Butthead
I can't remember the story behind this photo; however, it is still pretty funny.

2. Danny Crocker
Dan loves to bake. So, naturally, I took that love and mocked it.

3. Metal Dan (Shown above)
Dan loves to rock and he doesn't care who knows it. He used to wear the codpiece to the office over his khakis.

4. Mac and Tosh
Dan (and his foosball partner) were sickening with their compliments to each other during the few games that they managed to win.

I am now bracing myself for Dan's retort.